People ask me how I have managed to find the grace to wait out this situation that we have found ourselves overcome with here In Jeddah.
It has been a very long four weeks believe me, and we have taken it like champs, literally and figuratively.
Yesterday as I was having a nervous break down bawling fit, head rotating 360 degrees, with snot flying in each direction, minus the pee soup, and I was suddenly hit with a brilliant realization! I began to laugh hysterically through the wailing and tears, as Matt watched horrified, giving me the holy shit she has finally snapped look.
I proclaimed to Matt, that our past four weeks here literally emulated the Five Stages of Giraffe Death, from Robot Chicken. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “UURGGG I wanna bite someone in the face!”
Matt dropped to his knees in hysterics as we rolled on the floor together laughing until our eyes were dry, our bellies hurt, and our newly acquired Saudi street cat named Rita farted.
I somehow forgot the easiest way to dissipate painful situations is through genuine, joyous, laughter.
So copy and past the link and watch the Five stages of Giraffe Death, then note my version, and see if you have yourself a good laugh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCoaBN6iOu0
Angela’s Five Saudi Stages:
Dramatic Organ Music
Stage One: Denial
“Uh oh”
“It’s no big deal, but everything my Sister said was true about Saudi contracts, bribery, and non payment.”
“Boy I am gonna have a good laugh with Tammy on the phone over this one while I drink myself blind on Sid grain alcohol homebrew.”
Dramatic Organ Music
Stage Two: Anger
“Well this is just F@@king Perfect, stupid bribery, stupid Saudi Arabia, urrgh I wanna bite someone in the face.”
“MuthaF@@@er, MuthaF@@@er, MuthaF@@@er.”
“Stupid Saudi Arabia.”
Dramatic Organ Music
Stage Three: Bargaining
“Are you there Saint Rita, patroness of hopeless cases?”
“It’s me Angela of Arabia.”
“If you would just give us a mulligan on this whole being bent over and screwed in Saudi Arabia, I promise to adopt a wayward Saudi street cat, name her Rita in your honour, and take her home to live with us in Canada in the lap of luxury.”
Dramatic Organ Music
Stage Four: Depression
Complete and absolute uncontrollable bawling, with lip quivering and stuttering as previously mentioned.
Dramatic Organ Music
Stage Five: Acceptance
“You know something, I’m cool with this.”
“I bet Saint Rita, has something even more amazing and abundant in store for me and our family.”
“Get my ass on a plane out of Saudi Arabia, I await my incredible abayaless traveling wilbury fate.”
THEN THE PHONE RINGS:
Dramatic Organ Music
“Matt, the Prince, The Red Crescent, and Action Aviation have agreed to restart the Saudi Arabia Air Ambulance Program in spite of the investigation. You will be paid your two months withheld wages and expenses, plus a month salary will be paid up front in advance. “Insha’Allah.”
Well that is all well and good, but this is the real world people, and Saudi time does not work for our family through this imposed current financial, and emotional position.
I will believe it when I see it, and the money is in the bank sucka.
Until then Insha’Allah, and we wait for the next job interview to pass bringing with it the excitement of our next adventure brimming on the horizon. Stay tuned to find out where the wind will carry us on our next global trek.
Beginning to feel a bit like Mary Poppin’s, only a bit more jaded, hung over, and emotionally devoid.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Insha'Allah
Many of my friends from home are fascinated with what my day is consumed with here in the Magic Kingdom.
Our lives here can be summed up Insha’Allah. This is an Arabic term to indicate hope for an aforementioned event to occur in the future. The phrase translates into English as "God willing" or "If it is God's will".
This term can also ironically mean not on your bloody life when used sarcastically. The key is beginning to read the subtle nuances of the person delivering the comment.
Most expats here have grown to loath the saying. I have tried to embrace it to the best of my abilities, holding fast to the deeper meaning behind it, when things go for shit in the Magic Kingdom, which happens in the business world more often than not.
Never before have I seen a non-bribery clause in a contract between agency and client.
When the agency then violates the contract by bribing an influential Doctor with millions of dollars to retain said contract, shit hits the fan. The Secret Police investigate, and those committed to running an essential lifesaving service are put on hold, with no pay. Shocking in the western world yes, old hat in Saudi.
So we wait, with options to stick it out and Insha’ Allah those with new BMW’s will return their illegally newly acquired cars and subsequently the money, employees salaries will be paid and people will be rescued from their wrecked cars on the side of the road escaping imminent death Insha’ Allah.
As for life on the compound, while our family waits, we explore options. A potential search and rescue position for a great pilot in Tasmania, one in Malaysia, one in Thailand.
As we wade through the suffocating disappointment of our four-year plan evaporating before our very eyes, we wait patiently for our life direction to unfold. Insha’ Allah.
Compound life goes on. I wake to the blazing sun daily, take Felyx to his private Saudi School, and then return home to attend the compound spin class, followed by a marathon swimming session with Tyl in the pool all before 10am.
I tend to my home brew broom closet wine, gin, and beer experiments, which Ms. Sethi my high school Chemistry teacher would be proud of.
In a mere few months I have managed to master some recipes from the Saudi Survival Guide handed down from expat to expat over the past 25 years.
I then pick Felyx up from school at 1pm, play in the park, swim another couple hours, then head to spend time with the adorable, unbelievably funny Irish house wife contingent for a few nips before dinner.
With that the day is done, as the kids go to bed, and we watch old CSI reruns of seasons past on Dubai One.
Once or twice a week depending, the family loads up on the beach bus headed to the secret exclusive private Beach resorts frequented by the expat community. Saudi’s not allowed. Here we strip off our abayas exposing our bikini-clad flesh to the sun and swim in the delicious Red Sea.
Matt laughs and Kristine and I ignore the Saudi men anxiously trying to penetrate the Silver Sands Beach Resort perimeter on jet skis to get an eye full of “naked” Westerners playing in the waves on shore. Occasionally you will see a burka draped woman flying through the waves with wreckless abandon, life jacket secure over top, adding a splash of colour to the floating black in the sea.
If I need to get groceries, go to the doctor with the children, or run errands, I call a limo service to take me where I need to go if Matt is not available to drive me. At times, it is a pain in the ass, but for the most part I don’t’ really mind. I would not want the stress of driving on these crazy roads. In honesty, I don’t think I have been here long enough yet to miss the convenience of driving. I do however love to see all the ladies pushing back in forth in line awaiting their chance to drive the bumper cars in the mall.
Life here for me is very simple, with so much time to focus on my children, which most westerners do not have the luxury of doing. I feel so fortunate for this opportunity, although some days I miss my rock star production life.
It is a comfortable numb, that may very well vanish in the blink of an eye.
I do not know where I am going next on this journey, but know I am being lead by a force beyond my comprehension.
I no longer pay attention to those who question my decisions as a parent to allow my family to follow the inevitable flow of what has become our life. The life of an expat family is not an easy one, but it does give my children the real experience of the planet as a global community, one that most parents and educators only flap off at the mouth about.
Felyx at the age of five, and Tyl almost three, have filled an entire passport to date with stamps marking their journey around the globe.
Felyx is fluent in mandarin, understands Fijian and Hindi, and is lapping up Arabic at a phenomenal rate.
For all the instability that family and friends see in this life style, I see unprecedented beauty, growth, and opportunity for my family, which I would not change for the world.
Should the world perchance end in 2012, would you be happy with your CHOSEN lot in life? I know I would, and there is no Insha’Allah about that!
Our lives here can be summed up Insha’Allah. This is an Arabic term to indicate hope for an aforementioned event to occur in the future. The phrase translates into English as "God willing" or "If it is God's will".
This term can also ironically mean not on your bloody life when used sarcastically. The key is beginning to read the subtle nuances of the person delivering the comment.
Most expats here have grown to loath the saying. I have tried to embrace it to the best of my abilities, holding fast to the deeper meaning behind it, when things go for shit in the Magic Kingdom, which happens in the business world more often than not.
Never before have I seen a non-bribery clause in a contract between agency and client.
When the agency then violates the contract by bribing an influential Doctor with millions of dollars to retain said contract, shit hits the fan. The Secret Police investigate, and those committed to running an essential lifesaving service are put on hold, with no pay. Shocking in the western world yes, old hat in Saudi.
So we wait, with options to stick it out and Insha’ Allah those with new BMW’s will return their illegally newly acquired cars and subsequently the money, employees salaries will be paid and people will be rescued from their wrecked cars on the side of the road escaping imminent death Insha’ Allah.
As for life on the compound, while our family waits, we explore options. A potential search and rescue position for a great pilot in Tasmania, one in Malaysia, one in Thailand.
As we wade through the suffocating disappointment of our four-year plan evaporating before our very eyes, we wait patiently for our life direction to unfold. Insha’ Allah.
Compound life goes on. I wake to the blazing sun daily, take Felyx to his private Saudi School, and then return home to attend the compound spin class, followed by a marathon swimming session with Tyl in the pool all before 10am.
I tend to my home brew broom closet wine, gin, and beer experiments, which Ms. Sethi my high school Chemistry teacher would be proud of.
In a mere few months I have managed to master some recipes from the Saudi Survival Guide handed down from expat to expat over the past 25 years.
I then pick Felyx up from school at 1pm, play in the park, swim another couple hours, then head to spend time with the adorable, unbelievably funny Irish house wife contingent for a few nips before dinner.
With that the day is done, as the kids go to bed, and we watch old CSI reruns of seasons past on Dubai One.
Once or twice a week depending, the family loads up on the beach bus headed to the secret exclusive private Beach resorts frequented by the expat community. Saudi’s not allowed. Here we strip off our abayas exposing our bikini-clad flesh to the sun and swim in the delicious Red Sea.
Matt laughs and Kristine and I ignore the Saudi men anxiously trying to penetrate the Silver Sands Beach Resort perimeter on jet skis to get an eye full of “naked” Westerners playing in the waves on shore. Occasionally you will see a burka draped woman flying through the waves with wreckless abandon, life jacket secure over top, adding a splash of colour to the floating black in the sea.
If I need to get groceries, go to the doctor with the children, or run errands, I call a limo service to take me where I need to go if Matt is not available to drive me. At times, it is a pain in the ass, but for the most part I don’t’ really mind. I would not want the stress of driving on these crazy roads. In honesty, I don’t think I have been here long enough yet to miss the convenience of driving. I do however love to see all the ladies pushing back in forth in line awaiting their chance to drive the bumper cars in the mall.
Life here for me is very simple, with so much time to focus on my children, which most westerners do not have the luxury of doing. I feel so fortunate for this opportunity, although some days I miss my rock star production life.
It is a comfortable numb, that may very well vanish in the blink of an eye.
I do not know where I am going next on this journey, but know I am being lead by a force beyond my comprehension.
I no longer pay attention to those who question my decisions as a parent to allow my family to follow the inevitable flow of what has become our life. The life of an expat family is not an easy one, but it does give my children the real experience of the planet as a global community, one that most parents and educators only flap off at the mouth about.
Felyx at the age of five, and Tyl almost three, have filled an entire passport to date with stamps marking their journey around the globe.
Felyx is fluent in mandarin, understands Fijian and Hindi, and is lapping up Arabic at a phenomenal rate.
For all the instability that family and friends see in this life style, I see unprecedented beauty, growth, and opportunity for my family, which I would not change for the world.
Should the world perchance end in 2012, would you be happy with your CHOSEN lot in life? I know I would, and there is no Insha’Allah about that!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Airline Education on Snakes for Children
It is amazing the information that can be gleaned culturally from a children’s story handed out on a Saudi Arabian Airlines flight.
The Prolog
Dear young passenger,
Your renowned Arab grandfather, Abbass Ibn Farnas, a Muslim Scientist, was the first person to attempt to fly, thus he had been considered as a Pioneer of Aircraft Manufacturing. He saw the aircraft in his mind’s eye. He did not imagine it in its present day shape. In fact, he dreamed of flying by fluttering his own feathery wings in the air, just like a bird. This ambitious scientist, however, lost his life in trying to fly. It is generally thought that he failed because he overlooked the vital role of the bird’s tail. This belief is certainly untrue. Though all of us are now aware of the role of the bird’s tail, none of us can dare to make a similar attempt. Allah has guided us to make the airplane that has shortened distances and made it possible for you to easily travel to destinations farther than those visited by your grandfather, the great traveler. But one problem still hangs around. You often feel that you stay on board the aircraft too long and become board due to the limited space you are confined to. Of course, you want to play freely as you usually do. This is not possible on board and aircraft. We, in Saudi Arabian Airlines, have therefore deemed it appropriate to help you stimulate your mind to overcome the monotony of your long stay in your seat. Nothing can be more amusing than reading this book written by “Papa Yaquob”. You will not only overcome boredom of a long flight, but you will also pass this time merrily. You can keep this book. It is your complimentary copy.
Signed,
Saudi Arabian Airlines
The Snake: By Papa Yaqoub
Once upon a time there were two brothers who herd camels. Unfortunately their land had suffered from great drought. Neighboring to their land is a very fertile green valley. One of the two brothers decided to move to that valley to graze his camels. But his brother prevented him because there is a huge snake living in that valley.
Nevertheless his brother made up his mind and determined to move to that valley. There suddenly the snake killed and attacked him.
The deceased brother resolved to revenge for his brother, and kill that snake. But the snake requested reconciliation and peace. The brother responded to that request.
After some days the brother remembered his deceased brother, so again he began thinking of revenge for his brother, and determined to kill the snake when it comes out of its hole.
Just when the snake came out of its hole the deceased’s brother picked up his axe and tried to hit the snake’s head with his axe. But unfortunately the axe missed the snake’s head. The snake was wounded only with a small cut. So the snake has escaped death.
The brother was terrified and became worried for his life. So he requested reconciliation with the snake. But the snake laughed, saying to him “How can I make peace with you, when there is a mark of your axe on my body?”
The End
Upon reading this to Felyx, his response was “Is that the end of the story?”
I replied “apparently, but there are some facts about snakes if you would like to read those with me”.
Felyx asked, “but what about them forgiving one another and becoming friends?” “That is how all stories end.”
I replied, “Well I think perhaps we should re write the end of the story.”
So we did, and they all lived happily ever after in the green valley together discussing the symbolism hidden in the spiritual significance of the snake as an animal totem for the brothers of the dessert.
Snake Totem: www.sayahda.com
Snakes are fascinating creatures that deserve respect. Throughout history the snake has had many legends associated with it linking them to creation, fertility and transformation.
In Israel the snake was regarded as the earth mother and played a beneficial role in fertility. In Egypt the cobra was known for its ability to expand the upper neck into a disc shape by spreading its ribs, which symbolized immortality. In Christian lore the snake is seen rising from the chalice of St. John wound around a cross sometimes portrayed with a woman's head to symbolize lust and temptation. In Eastern cultures a snake rising up through the spine represents the kundalini, or life force being awakened.
One of snake’s most noticeable characteristics is the regular shedding of its outer skin as it grows. Once the skin is shed, the old inner layer becomes the new outer layer and a new inner layer of skin begins to develop. Crawling out of its old skin is very significant for those with this medicine. It is a metaphor for how we shed old ways and habits as we grow into higher spiritual energy symbolizing the death and rebirth process. It is also associated with astral travel and out of body experiences.
The eyes of a snake are always open protected by immobile transparent scales. Prior to shedding its skin the snake’s markings become obscure and the eyes appear opaque or blue. This gives it a trance like appearance as if it is looking right through you. Learning how to see into the hearts of others is part of what it teaches us.
Snake has been a symbol of life and sexuality for thousands of years in many cultures. It is a totem of power, renewal and transmutation. Soundless in motion and invisible at rest snakes are unable to produce their own body heat. They are often seen lying in the hot mid day sun. The suns warmth coupled with the snake’s behavior regulates their body temperature. Not relying on the energy of food to generate body heat, they can survive on meager diets for extended periods of time. Those with this totem need very little food to energize them. They are usually cold and prefer warmer climates. Their body temperatures are often lower than normal.
Snakes lack eardrums and external ear openings but have small bones in the head that conduct sound. They are able to hear low frequency sounds and sense vibrations that travel through the earth. This links them to the underworld where secrets are stored.
The snake symbolizes healing on a cellular level. Because their bodies are lightweight and flexible they have speed and agility. When they enter into your world expect swift changes to sweep through your life. These changes signify a death of the old and a birth into untapped power, creativity and wisdom. Snake is a powerful totem to have. Only those with a high degree of spiritual training, be it past or present, will be awarded this totem. It is the guardian of sacred places and the keeper of hidden knowledge.
Other interesting Saudi Arabian Airlines Facts on Snakes for children:
1. The snake is the most famous reptile known to man, which he fears greatly.
2. The snake has no nose, but can smell through an opening in that frontage of its throat’s roof.
3. Snakes feed on rats, mice, and harmful insects.
4. When a snake wants to pull off its skin it scratches its head with a course object such as a rock around its mouth.
5. Only poisonous snakes have fangs, and the toxic poison comes out though the caved canine tooth and passes to the victim’s body.
6. Poor Indians use some kinds of snakes to display some of their special skills through playing flutes.
7. Different ladies hand bags and shoes are made of snake’s skins.
8. Snakes appear as if they are glaring at you because they have no eyelids.
9. Snakes usually increase in size and length at close periods.
The Prolog
Dear young passenger,
Your renowned Arab grandfather, Abbass Ibn Farnas, a Muslim Scientist, was the first person to attempt to fly, thus he had been considered as a Pioneer of Aircraft Manufacturing. He saw the aircraft in his mind’s eye. He did not imagine it in its present day shape. In fact, he dreamed of flying by fluttering his own feathery wings in the air, just like a bird. This ambitious scientist, however, lost his life in trying to fly. It is generally thought that he failed because he overlooked the vital role of the bird’s tail. This belief is certainly untrue. Though all of us are now aware of the role of the bird’s tail, none of us can dare to make a similar attempt. Allah has guided us to make the airplane that has shortened distances and made it possible for you to easily travel to destinations farther than those visited by your grandfather, the great traveler. But one problem still hangs around. You often feel that you stay on board the aircraft too long and become board due to the limited space you are confined to. Of course, you want to play freely as you usually do. This is not possible on board and aircraft. We, in Saudi Arabian Airlines, have therefore deemed it appropriate to help you stimulate your mind to overcome the monotony of your long stay in your seat. Nothing can be more amusing than reading this book written by “Papa Yaquob”. You will not only overcome boredom of a long flight, but you will also pass this time merrily. You can keep this book. It is your complimentary copy.
Signed,
Saudi Arabian Airlines
The Snake: By Papa Yaqoub
Once upon a time there were two brothers who herd camels. Unfortunately their land had suffered from great drought. Neighboring to their land is a very fertile green valley. One of the two brothers decided to move to that valley to graze his camels. But his brother prevented him because there is a huge snake living in that valley.
Nevertheless his brother made up his mind and determined to move to that valley. There suddenly the snake killed and attacked him.
The deceased brother resolved to revenge for his brother, and kill that snake. But the snake requested reconciliation and peace. The brother responded to that request.
After some days the brother remembered his deceased brother, so again he began thinking of revenge for his brother, and determined to kill the snake when it comes out of its hole.
Just when the snake came out of its hole the deceased’s brother picked up his axe and tried to hit the snake’s head with his axe. But unfortunately the axe missed the snake’s head. The snake was wounded only with a small cut. So the snake has escaped death.
The brother was terrified and became worried for his life. So he requested reconciliation with the snake. But the snake laughed, saying to him “How can I make peace with you, when there is a mark of your axe on my body?”
The End
Upon reading this to Felyx, his response was “Is that the end of the story?”
I replied “apparently, but there are some facts about snakes if you would like to read those with me”.
Felyx asked, “but what about them forgiving one another and becoming friends?” “That is how all stories end.”
I replied, “Well I think perhaps we should re write the end of the story.”
So we did, and they all lived happily ever after in the green valley together discussing the symbolism hidden in the spiritual significance of the snake as an animal totem for the brothers of the dessert.
Snake Totem: www.sayahda.com
Snakes are fascinating creatures that deserve respect. Throughout history the snake has had many legends associated with it linking them to creation, fertility and transformation.
In Israel the snake was regarded as the earth mother and played a beneficial role in fertility. In Egypt the cobra was known for its ability to expand the upper neck into a disc shape by spreading its ribs, which symbolized immortality. In Christian lore the snake is seen rising from the chalice of St. John wound around a cross sometimes portrayed with a woman's head to symbolize lust and temptation. In Eastern cultures a snake rising up through the spine represents the kundalini, or life force being awakened.
One of snake’s most noticeable characteristics is the regular shedding of its outer skin as it grows. Once the skin is shed, the old inner layer becomes the new outer layer and a new inner layer of skin begins to develop. Crawling out of its old skin is very significant for those with this medicine. It is a metaphor for how we shed old ways and habits as we grow into higher spiritual energy symbolizing the death and rebirth process. It is also associated with astral travel and out of body experiences.
The eyes of a snake are always open protected by immobile transparent scales. Prior to shedding its skin the snake’s markings become obscure and the eyes appear opaque or blue. This gives it a trance like appearance as if it is looking right through you. Learning how to see into the hearts of others is part of what it teaches us.
Snake has been a symbol of life and sexuality for thousands of years in many cultures. It is a totem of power, renewal and transmutation. Soundless in motion and invisible at rest snakes are unable to produce their own body heat. They are often seen lying in the hot mid day sun. The suns warmth coupled with the snake’s behavior regulates their body temperature. Not relying on the energy of food to generate body heat, they can survive on meager diets for extended periods of time. Those with this totem need very little food to energize them. They are usually cold and prefer warmer climates. Their body temperatures are often lower than normal.
Snakes lack eardrums and external ear openings but have small bones in the head that conduct sound. They are able to hear low frequency sounds and sense vibrations that travel through the earth. This links them to the underworld where secrets are stored.
The snake symbolizes healing on a cellular level. Because their bodies are lightweight and flexible they have speed and agility. When they enter into your world expect swift changes to sweep through your life. These changes signify a death of the old and a birth into untapped power, creativity and wisdom. Snake is a powerful totem to have. Only those with a high degree of spiritual training, be it past or present, will be awarded this totem. It is the guardian of sacred places and the keeper of hidden knowledge.
Other interesting Saudi Arabian Airlines Facts on Snakes for children:
1. The snake is the most famous reptile known to man, which he fears greatly.
2. The snake has no nose, but can smell through an opening in that frontage of its throat’s roof.
3. Snakes feed on rats, mice, and harmful insects.
4. When a snake wants to pull off its skin it scratches its head with a course object such as a rock around its mouth.
5. Only poisonous snakes have fangs, and the toxic poison comes out though the caved canine tooth and passes to the victim’s body.
6. Poor Indians use some kinds of snakes to display some of their special skills through playing flutes.
7. Different ladies hand bags and shoes are made of snake’s skins.
8. Snakes appear as if they are glaring at you because they have no eyelids.
9. Snakes usually increase in size and length at close periods.
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