Saudi Stages

People ask me how I have managed to find the grace to wait out this situation that we have found ourselves overcome with here In Jeddah.

It has been a very long four weeks believe me, and we have taken it like champs, literally and figuratively.

Yesterday as I was having a nervous break down bawling fit, head rotating 360 degrees, with snot flying in each direction, minus the pee soup, and I was suddenly hit with a brilliant realization! I began to laugh hysterically through the wailing and tears, as Matt watched horrified, giving me the holy shit she has finally snapped look.

I proclaimed to Matt, that our past four weeks here literally emulated the Five Stages of Giraffe Death, from Robot Chicken. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “UURGGG I wanna bite someone in the face!”

Matt dropped to his knees in hysterics as we rolled on the floor together laughing until our eyes were dry, our bellies hurt, and our newly acquired Saudi street cat named Rita farted.

I somehow forgot the easiest way to dissipate painful situations is through genuine, joyous, laughter.

So copy and past the link and watch the Five stages of Giraffe Death, then note my version, and see if you have yourself a good laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCoaBN6iOu0

Angela’s Five Saudi Stages:

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Stage One: Denial

“Uh oh”

“It’s no big deal, but everything my Sister said was true about Saudi contracts, bribery, and non payment.”

“Boy I am gonna have a good laugh with Tammy on the phone over this one while I drink myself blind on Sid grain alcohol homebrew.”

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Stage Two: Anger

“Well this is just F@@king Perfect, stupid bribery, stupid Saudi Arabia, urrgh I wanna bite someone in the face.”

“MuthaF@@@er, MuthaF@@@er, MuthaF@@@er.”

“Stupid Saudi Arabia.”

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Stage Three: Bargaining

“Are you there Saint Rita, patroness of hopeless cases?”

“It’s me Angela of Arabia.”

“If you would just give us a mulligan on this whole being bent over and screwed in Saudi Arabia, I promise to adopt a wayward Saudi street cat, name her Rita in your honour, and take her home to live with us in Canada in the lap of luxury.”

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Stage Four: Depression

Complete and absolute uncontrollable bawling, with lip quivering and stuttering as previously mentioned.

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Stage Five: Acceptance

“You know something, I’m cool with this.”

“I bet Saint Rita, has something even more amazing and abundant in store for me and our family.”

“Get my ass on a plane out of Saudi Arabia, I await my incredible abayaless traveling wilbury fate.”

THEN THE PHONE RINGS:

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“Matt, the Prince, The Red Crescent, and Action Aviation have agreed to restart the Saudi Arabia Air Ambulance Program in spite of the investigation. You will be paid your two months withheld wages and expenses, plus a month salary will be paid up front in advance. “Insha’Allah.”

Well that is all well and good, but this is the real world people, and Saudi time does not work for our family through this imposed current financial, and emotional position.

I will believe it when I see it, and the money is in the bank sucka.

Until then Insha’Allah, and we wait for the next job interview to pass bringing with it the excitement of our next adventure brimming on the horizon. Stay tuned to find out where the wind will carry us on our next global trek.

Beginning to feel a bit like Mary Poppin’s, only a bit more jaded, hung over, and emotionally devoid.