Helpful Hints for Western Women living in Saudi Society: Rule # 1

Always wear underwear or some other type of preferably longer appropriate undergarments underneath your abaya.

Case In Point:

I have never been a fashionista, and actually would prefer to wear my pajamas 24 hours a day regardless, which is dangerous for a women of my desired comfortability level in a place like Saudi Arabia.  Here we are required to wear an abaya when out of our homes, which I have become quite attached to as it conceals my lack of fashion and ill-fitting clothing. 

Long gone are my days of baby doll pajamas with no undergarments under my abaya to deliver Felyx to school I am afraid.  Thank goodness I learned that lesson without to much dignity lost, or a good caning.

Seriously, abayas are dangerous for me because I have the most beautiful elegant abayas, designed by Ayah Al Bokhari of Cherrylicious herself!  These garments are the envy of all Saudi Women, and have fed my laziness in the dressing department.  No matter what I look like while in the comfort of my home, as soon as I step outside with Ayah’s abaya, I am the most fashionable beautiful creature swaying beneath my cloak of deception. 

Anyway, back to the lesson:  

Small children and abayas do not mix!  I will be grateful when Ayah designs me the MC Hammer lightweight cotton style pant abaya with the zipper down the front! 

So wearing my short shorts and tank top under my abaya, I call the limo driver to take Kristine, myself, and the boys to the Mega Mall.  Here we can window shop, while letting the boys run wild through the mall for a change of scenery, as the compound gets a little boring, 

Of course Tyl is having a throw down temper tantrum in the middle of the mall, and I reach down to pick him up. 

I grabbed him and tried to place him huggy bear style on my hip.  His shoe had become caught in between the snaps of my abaya and as he kicked, he ripped the whole thing wide open, exposing my short shorts!  You could have heard a pin drop in that mall. Everyone stopped to glare in disapproval,  with gasps erupting off of their lips.  All I could hear before the berating I received from an older Saudi Man was the squeak of the escalators. 

Frustrated and ready to kick someone’s ass, I collected myself buttoned my abaya, and hauled my child through the mall. 

Then it dawned on me like Murphy’s Law.   Abaya accidents can and will occur at the most unfortunate inopportune times, so be prepared, wear underwear in addition to longer shorts, skirts, or pants underneath your abaya to avoid being chastised!

Oh, another hazard to be weary of in Saudi Shopping Malls; abayas and escalators do not mix.  Beware.

With this enlightenment, I have resolved to come to a compromise for the time being until I receive my pant zipper abaya; I will simply wear my pajama pants for now.