Helpful Hints for Western Women living in Saudi Society: Rule # 3

Do not fondle the MAC Makeup Salesmen because you are excited about a new product line only available in the Middle East, although produced in Canada.

Case In Point:

As a general rule, Canadians are a very easy going relaxed group of people, with a cultural tendency to make direct eye contact when communicating.  Combine this with my touchy feely tendency to use physical contact as a form of reassurance that I am listening and understanding while verbally communicating with others, and you can see how this would offend or make Saudi Men very uncomfortable.

As a relatively new import to the Kingdom, I have not yet been able to reprogram my own deeply engrained cultural socializations tendencies. 

Here direct eye contact, smiling, or a reassuring touch to some man’s arm when talking is highly frowned upon.  Especially the touching part, men and women do not touch here, unless married and in the privacy of their own home.  Perhaps because I feel very comfortable here in Jeddah, I almost forget where I am half of the time. 

I now have to remember not to pinch Matt’s bum in public to drive him crazy, no smooch bite on the cheek, and absolutely no feel my triceps tricks!  So many things to keep in check and remember while being surrounded by the chaos of our children.  That is enough to make anyone crazy these days.

So I find myself at the MAC makeup store at the Red Sea Mall.  Standing out like a sore thumb, the MAC Salesmen approaches me to ask if I need any help.  I explain that I am just looking and he asks me where I am from.  I say Canada, and he perks up, explaining that MAC is produced in Canada.  Feeling a bit home sick, I immediately feel connected to this gentleman through my perceived “Canadian Connection”.  We begin to discuss makeup, and he proceeds to tell me about the line of eyeliners produced in Canada specifically for the Middle East.  I become very excited at the prospect of this marvelous product, as my eyeliner and mascara run continuously here from the heat. 

Showing me the products, I thank him and touch his forearm while making direct eye contact, and smiling brilliantly into his face at close range. 

His eyes flared wide open and he stepped back in amazement and discomfort for sure.  It then dawned on me, that I am forbidden to touch him. 

Trying to make the situation a little more comfortable, I said, “I am not supposed to touch you, am I?”  He politely said, “No”.  I then apologized, and he said, “don’t worry it was wonderful, now I must close the store and go to prayer.”

Nothing like being and feeling like a modern day Jezebel, in a Muslim world.  I am certain that my social tendencies have painted me as such, and feel a little bit more edgy and dangerous as a result; thus I am ok with that!